I have pneumonia. A major annoyance when you’re young, but a potentially life-threatening crisis when you’re pushing 60. The following is 100% true.

Last night, with the sickness racking my body and brain, I was unable to sleep and literally went into a short delirium. Sitting up in bed, I became disoriented, wasn’t sure where I was, and then everything went black … and I started to see CREDITS slowly rolling up in front of my eyes.

“Uh oh, this can’t be good,” I thought. “I’m over. Hope there’s a sequel.” Then I saw the line, “Directed By …” and it was someone’s name I didn’t recognize. “Damn, I don’t even get credit for directing my own life.” Then up rolled, “Cast.” I figured I’d at least get the lead, but it had a bunch of other names I didn’t recognize.” Then I snapped out of it, the black was gone, and I was gasping for breath because of head and chest congestion. And no, the TV wasn’t on. It was a genuine, lack-of-oxygen hallucination.

So you might like to know that when our number is up, the credits roll, and someone may end up stealing all the glory.